Do you have a problem with a colleague, but are unsure of how to formulate the criticism? Then you should get these expert tips.
Most people have probably been annoyed by a colleague’s habits, work routines or unsympathetic personality traits. But due to conflict shyness, or the desire to keep the peace in the office, we often choose to burn in with the criticism rather than bring it up with the person. In many cases it is perfectly ok, but sometimes it is best for all parties if the problem is raised there and then – before it grows bigger than it is strictly speaking. And if the cup one day suddenly overflows, the word choices tend to be uneducated and nuanced.
In order to get something constructive out of a confrontation, it is therefore important to proceed correctly. We have formulated five useful “driving rules” to give constructive criticism to a colleague. To illustrate the tips with concrete examples, they have been based on a situation where a colleague has the habit of interrupting you when you speak:
1. What has happened?
Describe the specific behavior that you find inappropriate. Have something concrete to refer to.
Example: “The last three times we have been in meetings together, you have interrupted me when I have tried to explain how I think. »
2. Start with yourself and point out the consequences
Express how you experience the situation, or what the consequences of the behavior will be. Then it becomes clearer why the problem becomes a problem.
Example: “The interruptions make me feel left out and lose the desire to speak. I think that is very stupid. “
3. «I want»
Tell about how you want the current situation to take place – instead of telling how the person should behave. By taking yourself and your wishes as a starting point, it becomes easier for the person to accept the criticism.
Example: “I want to finish talking before you come up with your views.”
4. Change tracks and receive the response
- Listen to what the other person has to say
- Confirm what you have perceived
- Ask questions
- Repeat your message
5. Rules for remembering constructive criticism
When giving constructive criticism, you should keep these rules in mind:
- Always use I-messages. “I see / perceive / think …” instead of “You are …”. It is perceived as less confrontational.
- Praise can be given in front of others, but constructive criticism should always be given in private.
- Have the courage to take up the issue again if it does not improve.
- Be aware of the feelings that arise both in yourself and the other person when the person is confronted.
- Be clear – avoid “wrapping up” the problem.
- Feel free to follow the 4: 1 formula – that is four times as much praise as constructive criticism
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