We are a medium-sized company with both female and male employees. Lately, we have had problems between a middle manager and a female employee. They both work in the same department, and they have had a love affair before. Now, this relationship is over, and the female employee constantly experiences being harassed or burdened with tasks that do not normally belong to her position. It may seem like a form of revenge by the male manager. We would like to keep both, but see that we should do something, as this can border on harassment What do we do when love at work creates trouble?

It is not uncommon for colleagues to find each other in the workplace. Many also claim that with a working life where the boundaries between work and private life flow into each other, it is completely natural and also nice with a little flirtation and romance in the workplace. It can even help to create a good atmosphere.

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Guidelines for job romances

In companies where many people work, the workplace is an important arena for getting to know new people, including a partner. On the other hand, it is not uncommon for conditions to cause problems. This is why many employers choose to create guidelines for such cases. The guidelines may, for example, stipulate that the management must be notified if two colleagues become a couple, and that the company can then transfer one or both to another department.

Splits and bad mood

You describe difficulties that have arisen between two people involved with you. It is not unlikely that colleagues around the couple have also experienced situations that have been demanding in advance, in the form of experience of or suspicion that the same employee received benefits at the expense of them, as long as the relationship still lasted. It can contribute to discord and bad mood, and affect the work environment. Romance in the workplace often creates the greatest problems when one of the parties is directly superior to the other. And What do we do when love at work creates trouble?

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Establish new routines

As you do not mention anything about rules in the area in your inquiry, I assume that you do not have such guidelines. Once this situation is resolved, it may make sense to evaluate what has happened and consider routines to avoid or reduce the chances of similar problems in the future. Our experience is that it is much easier to take a concrete approach to things if there are established guidelines for relationships in the company in advance.

On the verge of harassment

So to the specific case with you. You describe the relationship between the two as on the verge of harassment. She is harassed, and the pattern of action appears as an act of revenge. Such behavior is completely unacceptable if it must be addressed quickly. It is important to take such patterns of action seriously both for the sake of the employee who is exposed to it, and for the sake of the business as such.

We know that rude behavior at work can have a major negative impact on both performance, productivity, and not least the work environment in a workplace. That colleagues should treat each other with respect and kindness is a basic expectation that we must be able to base on. And What do we do when love at work creates trouble?

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Take a serious talk

You write that you want to keep both. In my opinion, the male manager’s behavior gives reason to question his leadership qualities. There is every reason to have a serious conversation with the relevant manager as quickly as possible, and make it clear both that the actions are noticed and that such behavior is not accepted. At the same time, I wanted to make sure that the female employee received the support she needed.

My advice:

Start by having a conversation with both of them separately to bring out the whole story, and be clear about what you see and think about the situation and specific behavior. Show in action that you see and follow up the female employee.

Based on what comes up, you need to decide what will be the right thing to do next. If both are to continue – how can the work be organized in the future? What do they even think about this?
Consider whether you should establish guidelines for relationships in the business, and involve AMU in the processes. What routines do you think will be good and necessary for you. Both type of business, size and organization are factors that become important. The solution is not always a ban, but rather to focus on openness and to find solutions in the specific case.

Good luck!!

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About The Author

Mohamed Firnas

“🌟 Meet Mohamed Firnas: With over two decades of experience in HR, Mohamed is a trusted advisor known for his strategic insight and compassionate leadership style. He’s committed to creating workplaces where every voice is heard and valued. 💼 Passionate about nurturing talent and driving positive change. Join him on the journey towards building better organizations! #HRProfessional #GulfRegion #Leadership”

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